Sticks and Stones Won't Break My Bones
by RaNdOmWitCh
Summary: Valduggey and Ghanith drabbles. I love these couples they are SO COOL! T for the moment
1. Skeleton Shopping

This is my first fanfic so please review thanks =D

This came to me yesterday but I was busy and only wrote a few scetances then I stopped to re-read Dark Days. =D

Disclaimer – I do not own any Skulduggery Pleasant characters but I do own this little band of stories well drabbles but you get the idea.

**Skeleton Shopping**

Valkyrie Cain was wondering around the Dublin Mall with Tanith Low, who by the way was practically dragging her into every clothes, make-up and shoe store in eye-sight. They had now been there for three hours and the fun and adventure Tanith had promised had not happened.

Suddenly Tanith squealed and then Valkyrie heard the screaming come from her subconscious letting her know that she should run right now. Ah but she was too late.

"Oh my god, Val, we have to go into Victoria's Secret" Tanith said as she bounced happily on the spot before dragging harmless 18 year old Valkyrie into the shop full of underwear, bedtime clothes and the such.

Tanith began to shop for the young teenager when she spotted the two men hanging out in the shop and the first thing that came across her mind was. '_Their secretly GAY' _which just seemed stupid once the two got a closer listen to their conversation.

"Where are we?" asked the bold man who had placed a hat on his head to hide the ugly scars.

"I don't know" said the man who had no face visible, a couple of seconds past when the man spotted something.  
"A BOMB" he yelled quietly to the man known as Ghastly Bespoke, he whipped around in the direction the skeleton was pointing in.

"Uh Skul I think that is one of them fruit baskets thingy's, I can't remember what they're called" Ghastly said to his friend, Skulduggery Pleasant, as they both made their way slowly over to it.

"Prod it, Ghastly" hissed Skulduggery, the two girls who were hiding in the next aisle were shaking with laughter at the fact that Skulduggery Pleasant and Ghastly Bespoke were afraid of-

"Excuse me sirs, but that is not a responsible movement and why may I ask are you prodding a females BRA?" demanded the assistant when she saw the two men prodding a bra.

That was for Tanith and Val, they both burst into laughter which caused both men to spin around and face the two women who were pointing at them laughing themselves stupid.

"YOU KNEW AND YOU HID AND LET US DO THAT. I AM GOING TO KILL YOU" Skulduggery yelled.

Valkyrie sighed and responded with "nah, you love me too much" then he began to chase them both around the shop and out of the door and into the security where the all got taken outside of the building.

Ghastly sighed to himself and apologised to the assistant and followed his friends path out of the mall whilst humming to himself.


	2. The Injury Tree

**This one follows the first chapter which I have realised isn't very good because I cut off half of it**

**Skeleton Shopping Part 2**

Skulduggery was still in a mood with Valkyrie and Tanith as they got into the car, he made a mental note to make a plan with Ghastly later on. He began to check his disguise in the windshield mirror as his friend climbed into the passenger seat next to him.

Ghastly, knowing his old friend, decided not to bring up their embarrassment in the underwear store and simply turned on the radio too some of their favourite music.

Bad move Ghastly, he would later tell himself. He could see Skulduggery's mood rise slowly when some of his favourite music came on.

"What the hell is this? It's so gay and old, turn it off" Valkyrie said with a look of disgust as both girls glared at the stereo.

"Yeah come on put something new on, have a change of heart and yes we know you don't have one Pleasant" Tanith said stuffing her fingers into her ears.

"Excuse me but I am older than this so called 'gay and old' music is, so therefore you are calling me 'gay and old'. So am I gay and old?" he yelled, silently both girls agreed that he was gay and old but didn't take the risk in angering him more than they already had.

"Good so how about you both put a sock in it for ten minutes, if that is possible" Skulduggery hissed while turning the Bentley sharply round a corner. This caused Tanith to slam into Valkyrie who had recently injured her arm and was not allowed any pressure on it.

_SNAP. _ Valkyries face turned white with pain as she screamed, this caused Skulduggery to look back at his partner in worry and crash the car into a tree.

Tanith quickly called someone and then in a matter of minutes everyone was safely in a new car with Mr. Bliss, who commanded the driver to get to the Cinema where Kenspeckle Grouse was.

All Skulduggery had to do was walk in and the professor of magical science / doctor knew that Valkyrie had a broken arm again. He could also see that the other three may have some sprained bones and some nasty bruises forming.

**The Injury Tree**

"Detective, how many times have I told you not too take your embarrassment and turn it into anger which directs at Valkyrie which causes her to get hurt?" demanded Kenspeckle as soon as he heard the story.

He told Valkyrie to sit on one of the hospital beds and rest while he went to get the medicine (and yell at Skulduggery for being an irresponsible mentor). This is something Valkyrie found very funny at this moment, why you may ask.

It had to do with the fact he chased her into the security and embarrassing her by the fact she had to be taken outside and she was certain that she saw The Toxic Twins there. Then he put on some crap music that she had to take the fun out of and got yelled at. Then he caused Tanith to slam into her, which re-broke her arm and then crashed the car into a tree causing more injures.

So he deserved it and this time she was not going to stick up for the damn skeleton even if he apologised over and over again. Plus, she thought it was about time someone yelled at him and Kenspeckle deserved that since he had saved her life time and time again.

Come to think of it he saved her parents lives too, could you imagine if she went home with a couple of broken bones every few weeks. Wow, she thought as she thought about a life without any magic or fighting, she came to the conclusion that it would be crap and that she had no idea how her uncle did it.

This was all pondering through her head as Kenspeckle treated her after he had a long good go at Skulduggery Pleasant. He sighed as he finished and looked at the 18 year-old in front him, she seemed to be deep into thought, this was no doubt about what just happened.

He went into the room where Pleasant lay, even without the looks the professor could tell the skeleton was glowering about the fight and was slightly sulky about the fact he had to wear the elephant and bunny hospital wear.

"Well you better be glad that Valkyrie is fine no thanks to you Mr. Pleasant" he snapped while dabbing some moisture onto the bone of his arm which was slowly tearing away.

"Look I have issues okay" he snapped back sulkily and let the relief that Valkyrie hadn't died because of him and he wouldn't have to tell her parents about how. If she had and he would tell her parents he would probably be under the ground as they speak.

Thankfully that hadn't happened and the worst thing they had to worry about was him looking god awful in the hospital wear.

_1 hour later_

The four had returned to Gordons home, as Valkyrie still referred to it even thought it was legally hers now. But no one else had known about the fact that when it was just her Echo-Gordon would wander the halls and chat to her.

They had found Fletcher Renn waiting for them in the lounge eating a large chocolate bar while grumbling about the fact his Spanish girlfriend had dumped him because he had picked up the wrong language and instead had said "¿Cómo sobre nosotros nos vamos a la cama?"

This had meant 'how about we go to bed?' which was surprisingly not what he had wanted to say.

Oh well it was his fault for trusting Skulduggery for help in Spanish. And as soon as Valkyrie has said that Gordon had decided to make an appearance, this had caused a whole lot of confusion and yelling but they calmed down once he explained.

Well they got mad at me for not telling (*cough* Skulduggery *cough*), honestly its like the worlds out to get her sometimes.


	3. Happy Birthday!

Chapter Three

Happy Birthday!

Stephanie Edgely woke that morning with a feeling of dread. And a lot of pain due to some psychopaths but that is a whole different story. Well today the main feeling was dread for her.

"Okay", she told herself as she slowly got up from her bed at Gordon's, "your turning 100. Not the end of the world right".

She groaned and muttered "of course it may as well be, another one of Tanith's surprise parties. God I hope she hasn't invited everyone like last time".

Valkyrie got changed and wearily made her way down the stairs and sticking to the shadows, she hoped to catch them out.

-SQUEK-

"Shit" she growled at the stairs when the muttering from downstairs instantly stopped but she however was now yelling insults at the stairs. This fact had now worried Skulduggery Pleasant a lot, since after he'd known her for 88 years now and he had never seen or heard her insult an object that had no way of answering back.

"Ugh, are you _okay_?" – ten minutes of more insults thrown at the stairs – "VALKYRIE CAIN" the skeleton roared, she span round and tumbled over and over the banister.

Skulduggery caught her and barely noticed the huge blush on Valkyrie as he did so. Everyone had rushed over to her as she had fallen but soon realised without Skulduggery she would have been fine because of the huge banner in the way.

"SURPRISE" Tanith yelled in her ear earning a smack which caused a play fight to happen again.

"Okay you have two choices the first is what Tanith wants to do the second is something we only thought about a few minutes ago. One is that we go to the beach the second is a boat ride" Ghastly said splitting the two girls apart.

Val smirked and said "I want to go to the pier and _then _on a boat and _then_ go to the pictures and _then _have dinner and _then _go bowling. Oh, sorry Tanith we wouldn't have any time for the beach".

The blonde glared at the black haired girl before dragging her outside and placing the helmet on her head.

"OH NO!" Valkyrie screamed as Tanith pushed her to the front of the bike, it was official she half hated her birthday and Tanith now hated her.

_Pier_

"Never. Do you understand? NEVER. I refuse to go on that motorbike again" yelled Valkyrie as she placed the wet cloth on a large gash on her arm.

"Oh please Val. I am much stronger than you and there is no way anyone can get past my motorbike".

10 seconds later

"Hey Val I have a surprise for when we get home" someone yelled over the now chattering people because a certain motorbike had crashed into a gas main causing an explosion.

Dear Diary,

(Everything that just happened)

Basically nothing interesting happened after that, well except when we got home and apparently left Skul there because no one could find him anywhere. That was just odd, but now I know it was him that had a surprise for me when I got home because I checked outside and it went pretty much like this after that.

A guy stood in front of me, he had light grey eyes and shocking black hair, for some strange reason I recognised him from somewhere. Also that playful smile on his face.

"Hey Val" said the velvet voice of no one un-other than Skulduggery Pleasant. I was in shock of course.

"Happy Birthday" he said engulfing me in a hug, which was weird because I was used to the bones of his arm crushing me to death.

"Okay Skulduggery this seems like a present to yourself and not to me. I don't think that is how birthdays work. I mean it may have been that way a few hundred years ago but not now, Pleasant" Valkyrie said cheekily to him.

"Oh no, it was so I could do this" he said calmly before kissing me. Wow I could get used to that. And of course our happy, _private _moment was inturrpeted by my best friend Tanith who I kill right now.

"That was so CUTE!" she screamed and rushed off to tell someone.

"I love you by the way" he said to me.

"I love you too" I muttered as I turned bright red.  
"I know" he said, I swear if his ego got any bigger it would destroy the Earth and maybe the Universe.

But at least I had a good birthday and a new boyfriend

Love

Val.


End file.
